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Skunked

September 3rd, 2010 · No Comments

It’s not uncommon to find stuff that has fallen out of someone’s pocket. The odd coin or watch, a cigarette lighter, perhaps even a set of keys but today we found something quite unexpected.

Julian and I were in the midst of returning from our routine walk with our beloved (although at times scheming) Golden Retriever Gypsy when we both looked down at the same time and noticed a little plastic bag on the pavement. At first I thought the bag contained green thread however on closer inspection I realised that the green part was right, but thread it certainly wasn’t. Our find was the green of the plant variety. Yes folks, Julian and I stumbled on a bag of weed.

Gypsy the sniffer dog, raised her foreleg, pointed her nose towards the find and froze in this position. Actually she did not really do this – Gypsy would never dream of acting in such a normal dog like manner.

Naturally we questioned the circumstances of our find.

Interestingly enough, the bag was found right outside an organics store. What did this mean? Were the owners of the store selling marijuana to their customers? Perhaps all these years I was fooled, the shelves were lined with bags of weed instead of oregano and tea leaves.

Or perhaps, we had stumbled on a major drug cartel whereby the Columbians were growing a rare and potent strain of marijuana in their ‘hairdressing’ salon’. I always wondered how the salon could get away with 10 dollar haircuts and no customers in sight. Maybe the store room caught on fire (due to Columbian drug lord who left his cigar burning near a supply of hair bleach) forcing a mass evacuation of staff and stock and leaving behind a precious little baggie in their haste. Nervously I looked around for a couple of Pablo Escobar types holding Uzis looking to reclaim their little piece of horticulture.

Let’s look at another possible scenario. Maybe there was a hidden camera located in the fish and ship shop opposite the organics store, perhaps Channel 10 are filming a new show called ‘Skunked’?

OK, time to get real – some poor guy with cancer was using marijuana for medicinal purposes and in his frail state of being he dropped his bag of weed outside the organics store after buying some St John’s Wart and Echinacea.

Or even more frightening perhaps it was trap set by a fundamentalist and extremist religious zealot with a hatred for mind altering chemicals. Strategically placing the bag in an obvious place he or she lies watching and waiting for an unsuspecting sinner to snatch the bag now laced with rat sack or some equally death inducing toxin.

We considered handing the weed over to the police , would the grateful owner give us a reward? Or perhaps it was better to treat the situation with a little more subtlety and advertise our finding as follows:

FOUND:
One green skunk.
Female – friendly yet anxious and has the munchies.
Very pungent odour.

Well I guess the true mystery of the lost weed will never be uncovered – does the weed belong to the hippy organic store owners or perhaps the Uzi loving Columbians. Maybe the cancer guy had a bad night without his marijuana or the new show Skunked airs next week.

Does the religious zealot finally get his way with the evil sinner dying in a choking haze. There is only one way to find out – who wants to smoke it? Any volunteers?
 

Tags: musings

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