According to my half glass full husband, I am considered a half glass empty kind of girl. This fact compounded by an impending winter has made the glass even emptier. It’s cold, I want to constantly consume nothing but comfort food (potato cakes, hot chips and meat pies ) and I am waiting for inspiration to strike for my next article with my granny blanket wrapped around my shoulders. I really need a bitter and twisted article so here it is – people are stupid.
Yes it’s true, people are stupid, this is something only I know which actually means I am the smartest person in the world. So how can I make such a bold and malignant statement slighting my fellow man I hear you ask? It’s simple, this is my blog and I can write whatever I feel like writing. So there.
Archaeologists believe that Homo Sapiens have been around for 200 000 years. However, Christians claim that humans have been around for 6000 years ago. Now, I don’t know about you but I think getting it wrong by 194,000 years is pretty stupid. Speaking of religion – how incredibly stupid are those thousands of followers of Harold Camping believing that the world was going to end on May 21st? Harold based this date on obscure numerological calculations of words in the bible (here we go with calculations again). Apparently on this day, God was literally going to rapture away all his Christian soldiers leaving behind all the sinners to suffer through fire and brimstone until the world ended on October 21. Firstly, there is no way that God is stupid enough to rapture away a bunch of boring tambourine banging hippies counting down to the rapture like it’s some sort of New Year’s celebration. Seriously – shouting ‘three minutes to lift off’ and looking up into the sky waiting for the heavens to open is so unbearably cliché that God himself is ROCLHAO (rolling on a cloud laughing his ass off). Secondly if God wants to rapture all the tambourine banging hippies away – do us all a favour, go for it please. At least all the interesting and smart people will be left here on earth.
Let’s leave religion and look at history as an example of why people are stupid. Why doesn’t anyone know about history these days? Most people consider history little but a flashback to the 1980s. No people, Diogenes, Anthisthenes and Xenophon are not names of pharmaceutical drugs rather the names of ancient Greek philosophers. The ancient Greeks interwove science, philosophy, ethics, art and politics to present ideas and theories about the nature of the universe that are still discussed today. Socrates, wanted people to think about what they believed rather than just blindly accepting whatever was passed down to them by tradition or told to them by figures of authority. Where has all this Socratic thought gone?
Thinking has been replaced by new and pointless inventions that have taken us away from actually using our minds, thinking for ourselves, challenging sacred cows, and using our intelligence. The first thing that comes to mind is television and reality television in particular. Our lives are so devoid of intellectual or creative spark that we have to watch other people with equally empty lives carrying on about nothing. What about television cooking shows? How many million more cooking shows do we have to watch – hey, here’s an idea -why don’t we just get off our fat derrières and actually cook something? In fact why don’t we just turn off the TV and do something, anything will do, walk, sing, make something, or even talk to someone new?
Where has our originality and creativity gone? We think that planking – a ridiculous craze that involves being photographed lying flat on your stomach in unusual environments is funny. I have no objection to people wasting their time lying flat between a toilet bowl and toilet brush set – but isn’t it just another totally pointless party trick? The only thing it does is cause people to waste time thinking about how to ‘out plank’ someone. What is even more ridiculous is that people are claiming that it is really called ‘extreme lying down’ and they think they are more clever because they discovered ‘extreme lying down’ four years ago. Hu? STUPID.
The Age Online is a great example of how stupid people are – not because of the articles, though they are pretty stupid (and aimed at the most stupid amongst us), but for the asinine comments that people make in response to the articles. Most people are very quick to make idiotic or hurtful comments . One particular article comes to mind – a woman decided to quit her meaningless job, accept some food vouchers from the Salvation Army to feed her family and went on Centrelink benefits for a while before she put together a collection of online recipes as a way of making money. There was a flood of toxic comments from people that were outraged that this women could rip of tax payers etc etc. People seemed to miss the entire point of the article which was about a women trying to turn her life around and do something more positive with her life. It was very clear that she was not deliberately ripping anyone off and so what that she hated her crappy office job? Are we not capable of thinking and reflecting anymore? Why do we feel the need to be hostile? Why can’t we just put ourselves in someone else’s shoes just for a moment? We are so quick to judge someone else that we actually miss the point of what is written?
The Royal Wedding – oh what a classic example of stupidly. My favourite line in the newspapers ‘designers are on standby for the first glimpse at Kate Middleton’s wedding dress’. You see women will now want a knock off version of her wedding dress – stupid! Why do we define what is beautiful and in vogue by what a famous person wears or does? I’ll tell you why, it’s because we are unoriginal and have no capacity to think freely. Stupid!
The movie Idiocracy tells the story of two people involved in an experiment that goes wrong and awaken 500 years into the future. The world is devoid of any intellect and all humans are literally stupid – people have evolved into a bunch of morons. The movie whilst satirical in nature is actually a cautionary tale and quite clearly we are headed in this direction unless things change.
How do we change? Is there any hope for me – I here you ask. Well of course there is, no need to despair. According to my calculations (based on a series of complex algorithms) I believe that aliens will land on earth on 11/11/2011 and show us the way. Humans will be once again be enlightened! Hooray!